Love Thy Yoni

“When you like a flower, you just pluck it. But when you love a flower, you water it daily”

– Gautama Buddha

I love my Yoni

I am in love with my Yoni

I treat my Yoni with respect

I care for my Yoni

Only the best for my Yoni

It has been a process and journey to reach the place where I can confidently say that I know and understand my Yoni like never before. Like a lot of women, it took trauma and mismanagement for me to start taking my Yoni health seriously. I suffered with pH imbalances, vaginal pain and discomfort, BV (bacterial vaginosis) and STI’s (sexually transmitted infections) throughout different times in my life and finally decided to stop the fuckery and take care of my vagina. I realized that I wasn’t making my vaginal health a priority and if I didn’t, then who would??

I’ve always made sure I had my regular doctor checkups and pap smears, but I wasn’t doing anything proactive to make things better, I just kinda resigned that all women have issues with their Yoni, and I wasn’t an exception. But about 3 years ago, I suffered from a UTI (urinary tract infection) which with my negligence I let progress into a kidney infection and in the middle of heat wave in August, I had a fever of 107, was in the most excruciating pain I have never felt (including childbirth) and when I walked into the hospital wearing layers of clothing AND a hoodie, I had the nurse ask me how in the world I was still standing (much less walking) and that I should have passed out from the severe infection and dangerously high fever .To be honest, I probably wouldn’t even have gone to the hospital that day, if weren’t for my family forcing me and the look of fear on my child’s face as he witnessed me in such debilitating pain. After the IV’s and then eventually being discharged, it took me over a week to recover, to finally feel like myself again.

I then made a conscious decision to get to know my body and my Yoni intimately and with intention. I started taking note of any changes in my vaginal discharge, subtleties in scent, taste and feel, and the sensations I experienced during sexual intercourse. I started listening to my Yoni and how she responded to different external sources such as soaps, the fabrics of my underwear, sperm, my intake of water and the type of pads I used. I was finally learning to love my Yoni and treat her with respect and adoration.

As I go down this path of Yoni discovery and self love, I encourage others to do the same. Too many of us suffer in silence, because we are ashamed and scared to begin to have these difficult conversations about vaginal health with our mothers, our sisters, our friends… You DON’T have to endure through pain, shame and discomfort. You CAN get rid of BV and pH imbalances naturally. You CAN feel confident about your Yoni inside and out. So many women are worried and concerned about the tightness and feel of their Yonis (much for the benefit of their partners) but if she isn’t healthy, all that doesn’t even matter.  Your Yoni is very much like a beautiful blossoming flower, when you water it and get rid of all the dead leaves and provide it with some TLC, that flower blooms and reaches its fullest peak and its entire glorious splendour. Nurture and love your Yoni (flower).  A healthy Yoni is a happy Yoni.

 

 

Queen Of The Pack

You can do it, put your back into it..

– Ice Cube

It’s time to take control, take charge, and snatch his soul Honey! I believe that it’s a powerful thing to own your sexual prowess and truly embrace your sexual strength. Every woman has sexual strengths that can be harnessed and further developed to help her achieve the greatest climatic experience. I am going to break down some of the most common sexual positions and highlight some helpful tips that can take your sex game up a few notches…

Missionary – Man On Top

  •  As your partner penetrates your Yoni, wrap your legs around their ankles for additional stability and move your hips and butt in tandem with his strokes.
  • Using your arms to hold up your legs, spread them wide and bring them closer to your face to create a deeper penetrative stroke.
  • Introduce a small vibrator to stimulate the clitoris such as a bullet vibe or penis ring to create additional pleasure and sensation.
  • Add a pillow or cushion under your butt for deeper penetration, this position creates a more shallow vaginal canal, increasing stimulation of the nerve endings near the opening of the Yoni.

Cowgirl Position – Woman On Top

  • If facing forward, lean back, holding on to your partners thighs as stabilizers to move your hips in circular motions, up and down and all around.
  • Place hands on your partner’s chest, lean in closer to their chest and roll your hips to create greater friction and contact with your clitoris.
  • Imagine your favourite sexy time song and move your body to the rhythm and beat of that song. (Or just play that song and dance along to it, while maintaining contact with the penis)
  • Caress your breasts, neck, hip, face (pretty much everywhere) tease and lick your nipples and use your fingers or a small vibrator to stimulate the clitoris.
  • If facing backward (reverse cowgirl), having your partner sit upright on a couch, chair or the edge of the bed, can allow you to have a greater range of movement. (Putting your feet firmly on the floor can help with stability and fatigue)

Doggy Style – Man Behind Woman

  • Arch your back, (and then arch it some more) bring your upper body as close to the bed as possible and raise your lower body to meet each stroke. (Face down, Ass up)
  • Rub your clitoris in a circular motion for added pleasure and stimulation.
  • Use your hands to spread your butt checks apart, stimulating all the nerve endings near the vaginal opening and the anus.
  • Reach between your partners legs to gently pull, rub or stroke your partners testicles.
  • Lying flat on your stomach, with your legs closer together, creates a more tighter vaginal opening and a more shallow (shorter) vaginal canal.

In any position, you can take control and be a very active participant to the sexual experience. There is more than enough pleasure within a sexual encounter for both parties to leave satisfied and happy, but you gotta put in some work too Ladies. Your pleasure is your responsibility, take pride in your sexual strengths and always strive to do better than the last time. I prioritize my pleasure and take the time to understand what I like, what feels good and how I can improve to be a more fierce and fabulous lover. Listen ladies… Ice Cube ain’t never lied.. YOU can do it… just put your back into it.

All The Good Feels

   “I need to be touched, I need to find an unselfish lover. A lover with an open mind. I deserve to find a pleasure that surpasses my imagination” – Excerpt from “Pleasure” by Eric Jerome Dickey

Oooooh…..mmmmm….yessssss…. pleasure can be so delicious, amazing and sometimes elusive. Everyone perceives pleasure in different ways and the way you receive and give pleasure varies from partner to partner. So I’ve got something for ya… Take notes!

Sexual attraction starts in the mind, so it’s imperative to create an atmosphere of honesty, openness and vulnerability first and foremost. Communicating about your desires, needs and fantasies are an important step to bridging the pleasure gap that sometimes can exist between partners. I know it can be nerve wrecking to bring up some topics that may make us uncomfortable, but it can be helpful to write it down initially. Writing your lover a letter or love note, sending an explicit text message or email, can open the flood gates of communication.

Compliments go a looong way. It has been said that you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, and I really try to live by that mantra in all my relationships. Let your partner know that they are attractive to you, that they turn you on and get your juices flowing. I believe that each of us are looking for some level of affirmation from the ones closest to us. I mean… I know I look good, but it’s always nice to hear it from my partner.

Establish non-sexual ways to increase intimacy such as eye contact and gazing, hand holding, words of affirmation or acts of service within the relationship. At times it could be a look that your lover gives you and that lets you know what they are thinking about doing to you… so many words can be transmitted without making a sound.

Foreplay. Foreplay. Foreplay. It’s so good, I had to say it twice and once for those in the back… It is has been scientifically proven that women need at least 20 mins of foreplay to be wet and ready for penetrative sex, so what’s the rush? My advise is to go slow and take your time. Go slow and then go slower than that… The anticipation is everything baby… Kiss, lick, suck, blow, stroke, and caress everywhere and savour each moment. Really feel the sensations of your lovers fingertips as they graze your back and then as they grip your ass, exhale and concentrate on each breath as they become more shallow and slowly deepen. Don’t rush the good stuff, because it only gets better from here…

Becoming an intuitive lover takes patience, understanding, imagination and awareness. Give and receive grace and patience with your lover, learn your partners’ body and understand what they like and dislike. Alternatively allow your partner the space to learn and discover your body and what it likes and dislikes. It can be helpful to think outside the box when envisioning scenarios and fantasies where your partner and yourself would be together. Enlisting erotica, romantic movies and porn to help provide the vocabulary to further express your desires. Most importantly, be present, be in the moment and allow all the good feels to wash over, in, and through you.

 

 

 

Make Love To My Mind

   “Sex is always about emotions. Good sex is about free emotions; bad sex is about blocked emotions.” – Deepak Chopra 

Anticipation is everything! Mental stimulation is so very important to the overall sexual experience and a great way to keep the fires burning. The brain is the body’s entry point for sexual response and desire, and everyone is stimulated differently, but it starts in the brain first. If we see an attractive person, our eyes send a message to our brains, which communicates a favourable response, which in turn fires off indicators of sexual and romantic desire. When a woman feels desired, safe and supported, that can open her floodgates of sensuality and warrant for more openness and liberation in her sexuality. I love a play-by-play detailed description of what you want to do to me and how my body makes you feel…. Explain how much my sexiness sets you on fire, let me feel that you are thirsty for my nectar.

Most couples report that some type of sexual and romantic communication throughout their day help to foster a greater connection and bond, allowing them to be more open and honest with desires and fantasies. The best sex is always with someone who you have an intense connection with, and that connection is created in the mind first. Send a naughty text, leave a love note in their lunch bag, shoot a quick clip of your most sensual sides… it’s an amazing feeling to want and to be wanted. Creating a space to be open and candid about your fears, needs and desires will manifest a strong bond, thus leaving a woman the opportunity to release any hurts and traumas.

Our yonis are like beautiful delicate flowers, when cared for and cherished, they will bloom and blossom, but when left neglected and shamed, our yonis wither and cower. The Yoni is the epic centre for our life source, and is so connected to our mind and feelings. When a woman is mentally stimulated, her yoni usually follows.

Had a guy recently remind me that men are optically stimulated (as a clever way of asking for nudes lol…) but it got me thinking about how and what stimulates women. A majority of women need to be first stimulated through affirmations, adoration and understanding. I think the sexiest thing man can do… is to allow me the space to be heard. It’s a special kind of vulnerability to really hear and understand a woman and that a surefire way to get the river of sensuality flowing. We all crave a deeper connection, so we can explore the depths of our sexuality. Stroke her mind before you stroke her body…believe me the possibilities are endless.

The Journey Begins

 

Does my sexiness upset you? Does it come as a surprise? That I dance like I’ve got diamonds at the meeting of my thighs? – Maya Angelou

    Loving yourself authentically is often difficult because you will have to face some powerful and perhaps frightening truths about yourself. The traumas and hurt you have been carrying and dragging can seem daunting to deal with. The journey to self awareness and a deep introspective thought process is an exciting whirlwind of emotions and can be so very rewarding. As women, it can be a battle to honour ourselves, while seemingly having to honour everyone else. How do we balance the two? How can we love ourselves organically without feeling selfish or even worse to be shamed for standing our light and prowess as a supreme female being? My advice would be to release the pain and forgive yourself first, honestly and truly forgive YOURSELF FIRST. We are all flawed and imperfect human beings who have the capacity to hurt and be hurt, to love and be loved. Let it go Sis… breathe… cry…scream.. but let it go… *deep sigh*

   By no mistake, we were given the centre of life.. the essence of our being.. the Yoni. This magnificent wonder that can bring forth life, and harness tremendous amounts of pleasure, if we get in touch with her (literally and figuratively).

I used to have a love/hate relationship with my yoni, I love that I am able to derive so much pleasure from my yoni, but I hated the fact that I felt it at times controlled my decisions in relationships, love and self worth. But I now realize, that it was a lack of self development and self awareness that had me making all sorts of negative choices. I believe that society teaches women to sacrifice our sexuality or that we should leave our sexual satisfaction on the back burner. My sexual “worth” was and is to be determined by how satisfied my man was… If he’s happy in the bedroom, then that’s all we should be concerned about…. I say Eff that! My yoni is special, sacred and fucking amazing, and if a man has the opportunity to be close to her, then he better be thankful for that blessing.

Through it all, we do have an innate strength and resilience to overcome all of life’s challenges and obstacles. We have the power to reign supreme and control our own destinies and sexuality. Never forget YOU are a diamond and you have diamonds at the meeting of your thighs.